Two months ago I was hired by Utah State University to teach an introductory physics lab. I was so excited for the opportunity to educate eager scholars on the fundamentals of physics. I reflected on my days in introductory physics and rejoiced at the thoughts of recreating those same experiences for my students. I pulled out my old textbook and brushed up on my kinematics. I read through my old lab reports. I even revisited the dreaded chapters introducing sinusoidal wave functions.
Before teaching my first lab I got a little bit of instruction from my advising professor, Tonya. She told me this physics course had no prerequisites. Therefore, we would be introducing the concepts at a very elementary level. What? No prerequisites? Without some foundational knowledge of calculus how would they survive the course? Tonya laughed. I raised an eyebrow at her response. She placed her arm around my shoulder and led me gently to her desk. She pulled out the student's "textbook" and handed it over to me. I was stunned by what I saw. There were no variables, no integrals, no reference to Maxwell or his equations, and not a single greek letter. What kind of operation was she running? Tonya explained to me that this course is designed for freshmen elementary education majors. These students have no interest in math or science, but are required to get a small taste of physics for their degree.
Tonya went on to tell me that these students are very fragile. If they show up to lab and make an effort I then have no reason to give them anything less than 100% on the lab. She told me the post-lab quizzes are to be done individually, but I am not to penalize them for wrong answers. If they show any type of work on their homework they are to get full credit regardless of the answer.
The first lab was an absolute disappointment. The students were completely lost. Even after explaining the answers to them they just stared at me with vacant expressions. Finally, I resorted to telling them what they should be writing down on their papers. I thought I was to blame for this catastrophe so I visited my advising professor and told her what happened. She smiled and said, "Yup. Sounds about right." Tonya told me that I just need to get the students through the semester so they can move on and never revisit physics again.
Yesterday I was sitting in my computer methods class and I found myself experiencing some anxiety over my assignment. The computer was not cooperating and I was getting nowhere. I turned to my neighbors for some insight, but they were having the same difficulties. Finally, I raised my hand. The TA approached me and asked what was giving me trouble. I rolled my chair back and motioned to my computer. She looked over my work and threw out a few lines of complete jiberish. After seeing my look of confusion she grabbed the keyboard and fixed the problem for me.
At the end of class as I was turning in my assignment I apologized to the TA and explained that this is my first taste of computer programming. She turned to me with a warm expression and told me not to worry. She shared my frustrations and offered many sympathies. She told me as long as I am in class and finish all my assignments I will get an A. I walked away from class feeling better about my situation.
Then it hit me. I am the freshman elementary ed major who does not understand Newton's first law. My TA is probably sitting around with her friends laughing about the hopeless idiot in her introductory level computer programming class who doesn't have a clue. I enrolled in PHYS 2500 to fulfill some physics requirement so I can forget all of it next semester. I am the retard. I now have greater sympathy for my poor little physics students.
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