I'm Too Young For This

 Last Saturday was no different than any other Saturday. I woke up, threw my day pack together, laced up my shoes, and headed for Zion. Some friends and I hiked the Taylor Creek trail found in the Kolob Canyon section of Zion National Park. The hike in to the double arch alcove is an easy 2.7 miles following a little stream with very little change in elevation. The canyon does continue past the alcove, but hiking beyond that point is not recommended due to a steep landslide full of loose boulders.


We wanted a little more adventure, so we decided to continue up the canyon anyway and do some exploring. My friends often give me grief about my awkward climbing skills, so when we approached a short, fluted, rock I decided it was time to prove myself. I dropped my pack and started climbing. I was about 10 feet off the ground when my foot slipped and the cruel force of gravity shoved me back down to the canyon floor. Upon recovering from my fall I picked up my pack in silence and climbed around the rotten obstacle.


We hiked further until the canyon narrowed and became completely impassable. Trust me, I made a valiant effort to continue. On our return trip I took a nasty spill on a steep dirt landslide and tumbled a good 20 feet before getting the situation under control. Did my friends show any concern or offer help? No. They pulled out their cameras to capture photos of me in my moment of distress. I did, however, make it back to the trailhead in one piece.


Sunday morning I woke up and as I placed my feet on the floor I felt an ache in my ankles. I stood up and and my knees buckled. I took a few steps and my hips creaked. I bent down to pick up my shoes and my back screamed in protest. In a matter of 24 hours it felt as though my body had aged 30 years. Sure, the hike was rough, but I thought I still had a few good years left in me.


Over the past few days I have kept an eye out for other signs of premature aging, and I have been pretty disappointed with myself. Monday morning I caught myself spooning oatmeal into my mouth with one hand, managing my 401(k) with the other, while the voice of Mary Nickels told me of Utah's latest breaking news.  My top 25 most played songs in my iTunes library include ballads from Bing Crosby, The Kingston Trio, Michael Crawford, and Simon & Garfunkel. 9 times out of 10 I have my truck radio tuned to NPR. I am one spoonful of metamucil away from geezerdom! How did this happen to me? But more importantly, how do I fix it?